Tips on Mentoring, Part Two

And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and his disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them. Mark 10:13-16, KJV

PRACTICE THE HUMAN TOUCH

Sometimes all it takes is simple human contact in order to reassure a child that things are okay. Your touch can convey warmth, acceptance, affection and approval. Jesus took the children in His arms and blessed them, and while your protégé may not say that is what he or she is longing for, but by placing your hand on his or her shoulder, you can communicate volumes. In a nutshell, ministry is about people. It is about leading and influencing those around us to come to Christ and to live Godly lives. The warmth you convey to your followers is a representation of God’s warmth to them. By reaching out and touching your student, you help them to understand that God desires to also touch his or her life. On a more human level, the relationship you have established with your protégé is deepened and strengthened.

It’s true, that touching someone is a powerful tool in communication. It is also true that a touch can be misunderstood. Be careful to keep your contact appropriate, and watch as your student flourishes under your influence.


MAKE YOUR SPEECH PLAIN

Tell your student the things he or she would like to hear, and say them in plain English. Do you remember when you were eight or ten or twelve? At that age, were you able to correctly decipher the nuances in an adult’s speech? Most likely, the answer is, "no." When I was a young teen, I went to have my hair cut. It’s true, I had allowed it to grow longer than I probably should have. The barber looked at my head of hair and pronounced, “Don’t worry. It’s only the top hair that’s long.” Being young, I completely missed the fact that he was being funny, and thought he was only going to cut the “top hairs.” While your inflections and nuances might be clear to other adults, be sure your communication is clearly understandable to your protege.

A student and I were sharing small talk over a meal when I offered the following counsel, “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater,” only to receive a blank look. It never occurred to me that this might be an unknown expression, one that would leave my meaning completely clouded and totally unclear. After this incident, I made a renewed effort to make clear what I wanted to communicate, often by using simpler language and more direct communication.

Your protege wants to hear a clear message from you. He or she wants to hear not only your acceptance of them as a person, or your encouragement for them to strive for a higher goal. Most of all, your follow wants to hear those three words that express the foundation for the relationship: “I love you.”