Tips on Mentoring, Part Three

TAKE THE HIGH ROAD

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8, NIV

George Bernard Shaw is credited with saying, “Youth is wasted on the young.” While this saying is generally taken to mean that an older, and hopefully wiser, person would make better use of the energies and passions of youth, in this sense, it means a young person does not always have the best perception of life or even of the results of their actions or words. Thus, the need for a mentor with a solid core of wisdom and compassion.

The motive behind an action reveals much about a person and their perspective on an institution, life in general, people, spiritual matters, etc. Have your motives ever been misunderstood? Have you ever been judged with only a handful of the facts, or condemned because someone else jumped to the wrong conclusion? An experience of this nature can leave a person frustrated, angry, and withdrawn (and therefore not open to influence). An old saying reminds us, “Don’t assume malice for what stupidity can explain.” As humorous as this saying might be, it points to a very real outworking of everyday human nature. Sometimes people do bad things not because they are trying to hurt someone else, but because they just haven't thought things through. It’s easy to assume that your student had a malicious intent when he said or did whatever it is that he is guilty of. Perhaps he simply did not consider the outcome his words or actions would bring, or did not imagine the consequences would be so far-reaching. It is an effortless leap for you to make, getting to a wrong conclusion. It is harder to come to the precipice of judgment and refrain from jumping. When every hand seems turned against him, when there is no one else to give wise counsel, in a time of confusion and frustration, your reservation of judgment might be the only oasis of peace and encouragement available to a young life.

As a mentor, your attitude of response to the wrongdoing of your student is as instructive as any punitive consequence. Certainly, there needs to be recognition of the transgression. But deciding that there is always a positive resolution available, you can encourage your protégé towards that constructive course of action. By continuing to be an encourager, pointing out areas in which your student excels and the things he has done that are first-rate, you leave the door open for your influence to have a powerful effect on an individual that needs direction. Capitalize on the opportunity you have created in this young life and promote restoration, healing and positive resolution in even the toughest situations.

Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.
Proverb 10:12, NIV