Amusing Anecdotes

A teacher was testing the children in her Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to Heaven. She asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me in to Heaven?” “NO!” the children answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me in to Heaven?” Again, the answer was, “NO!”

By now, the teacher was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! “Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?” she asked them again. Again, they all giggled and answered, “NO!”

She was just bursting with pride for them. “Well,” she continued, “then how can I get in to Heaven?” As a couple of hands went up, a five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.”


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The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill up barrels with water and pour the water over the altar. He had them do this four times. “Now,” said the teacher, “can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?”

A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, “I know! I know!” she said with great excitement, “To make the gravy!”


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The Sunday school teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned in to a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, “My mummy looked back once, when she was driving,” he announced triumphantly, “and she turned in to a telephone pole!”