Take Your Critics To Dinner

Ever notice how a growing, successful, thriving ministry attracts willing volunteers? It also brings it's share of criticism. Do you have a critic? Is there one person that finds fault with you, your ideas, your programs and your ministry, no matter how well thought-out and executed they are? Perhaps it is a parent, or a worker, a fellow staff member, or a board member. Whoever it is, it's easy to have a sour attitude towards that person and to dismiss everything that person has to say. But you shouldn't. While you may consider that person to be a thorn in your flesh, your critic is actually a gift to you and your ministry. Yes, a gift. You can have a more effective ministry by listening to and accepting what your critic has to say.

TEN TIPS TO 'WINNING OVER' YOUR CRITIC

1) Listen honestly and openly to your critic, without interrupting.

2) While listening to his or her complaint, avoid offering excuses or even reasons as a rebuttal.

3) Thank your critic for bringing the 'problem' to your attention.

4) Consider the area your critic feels is a problem. Is it? Even if the situation isn't completely as your critic sees it, would a small re-working of the project satisfy any of the critic's legitimate concerns while still accomplishing ministry objectives?

5) Ask the critic to help supply two or three (not just one) viable solutions to the issue at hand.

6) Pray for your critic. No, not that God will strike him or her with a bolt of lightning, but that He will bless them and give them a heart for your ministry, an understanding of your ministry, and a compassion for you.

7) Recruit your critic to do a specific short-term task in your department.

8) Take your critic to dinner or to some other social setting away from the area that causes stress between you. Don't talk 'business.' Talk about family, friends, hobbies, hopes and dreams, etc. Show interest in your critic and his or her life. Help your critic to see you as the caring, genuine person that you are. Conversely, look for and capitalize on the good qualities in your critic. It's hard for someone to criticize a person they like. Pursue the relational aspects with him or her.

9) Ask for the critic's input on an unrelated project. Be prepared to implement some of their ideas.

10) Jesus commanded us to love our neighbors. Love your critic.

It's true, some people simply like to complain. And some will not give up that condemning attitude, no matter how great your effort is to win them over. You may have to distance yourself from a critic that is so entrenched in their misery that your attempts can not reach them.

These tips will not always solve a situation overnight, but can bring about a "win-win" in the long term. Do everything under the banner of love, bathe yourself and your ministry in prayer, and sprinkle your conversation liberally with God's Word and praise for Him. Your 'critic' will soon be your strongest ally.